Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Spreading quickly via X:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Spotted on Telegram:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Going viral on Messenger:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Going viral on X:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Trending via Facebook:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

1 month ago

Witty text about feeling confident after a few drinks, with a playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic progression of a night out: from admiring art to considering alternate modes of transportation! 🍸🍸🍸🛹 Who needs a taxi when you've got liquid courage and a skateboard waiting for you outside? Just be sure to wear a helmet – safety first, folks! 😄 #SkateboardRide #TipsyThoughts"

adventure, alcohol, drinks, fun, humor, looking, outside, ride, skateboard

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being insane should at least burn calories.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Trending via TikTok:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Shared recently on Discord:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Broadcasted on Discord:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

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