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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has copied:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has shared:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has shared:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Going viral on Instagram:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old β€” you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Spreading quickly via X:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Shared recently on X:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Breaking via TikTok:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Live now on Discord:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Trending via Messenger:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic progression of a night out: from admiring art to considering alternate modes of transportation! πŸΈπŸΈπŸΈπŸ›Ή Who needs a taxi when you've got liquid courage and a skateboard waiting for you outside? Just be sure to wear a helmet – safety first, folks! πŸ˜„ #SkateboardRide #TipsyThoughts"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Discord this month:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

17 shares on Threads this month:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

47 shares on X this month:

β€œAt your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled β€œrun for your life!” I’d be like β€œya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

40 shares on Reddit this month:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, β€œgrr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has viewed:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on YouTube:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Trending via Threads:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Trending via WeChat:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Trending via TikTok:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Live now on X:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Spotted on X:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

SomethΡ–ng wrong Ρ–n your lΡ–fe? There’s a nap for that.

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