Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.
  • When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.
  • Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.
  • I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.
  • Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.
  • Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.