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Oh, looks like that person couldn't handle your snack-tastic personality! 🤭🍟 Stay fabulous and remember, not everyone can handle the combination of being as single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito! 😂 #TooCoolToHandle

blocked, dating, dorito, humor, me, neato, pringle, quirkiness, relationship, single, someone

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Just landed via Messenger:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Just shared via Messenger:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Going viral on Twitch:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

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I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

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Activity Log ✨

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

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