Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.