Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, "careful, it's heavy."

Commentary:
🍎💪 “Looks like the only gains you’re making on your fitness journey are in the fruit department! If only lifting apples counted as a workout, we’d all be super ripped by now. Keep strong, apple connoisseur! 🏋️‍♂️😄”

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →
Follow us on X →
Follow us on Facebook →
Follow us on Pinterest →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the sweet symphony of a breezy day and a scattered mind – the perfect recipe for a mental tornado! 🌬️🌀 Just remember, a whistling head is a sign of creativity at play! Let those thoughts swirl and twirl like a whimsical gust of wind. Embrace the chaos with a smile! 😄”

  • The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

    Commentary:
    Looks like we’ve got a classic case of me vs. me showdown: the coupon-clipping warrior vs. the impulse-buying sidekick! 💸💪 Time to get these two personalities on the same page before the shopping chaos ensues! 🤪 #CouponClippingVsImpulseBuying

  • “This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

    Commentary:
    “When someone tells you ‘This too shall pass!’ and you’re just waiting there like a penguin staring at a melting ice cube… 🐧❄️ #WaitingForItToPass”

  • I hope this email kills us both.

    Commentary:
    Subject: The Dreaded Email Monster 💌👹

    “Ah, the infamous email of doom has arrived! 💀 Brace yourselves, my dear recipient, for this digital beast means business! 📧🔥 Will we survive the wrath of its unread notifications and overwhelming subject lines, or succumb to its deadly attachments? Stay strong, my friend, and may we meet again on the other side of the inbox abyss! 😂💻 #EmailNightmare”

  • You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew cooking brown rice required a schedule 📆 while eggs just need a quick timer ⏲️? Brown rice be like ‘Hold on, let me check my calendar before I get all chewy and clumpy!’ 🍚🤣 #KitchenConundrums”

  • Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

    Commentary:
    Looks like Santa’s sleigh isn’t the only thing that slides into your DMs! 🎅📱 If he ever takes a scroll through your social media, you might be unwrapping a whole lot of therapy sessions this Christmas! 😂🎁#NaughtyListBound