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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Just shared via TikTok:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Just landed via YouTube:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Reported on TikTok:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I only drink when I people.

Just shared via X:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Seen just now on X:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Shared recently on Reddit:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out for those vegan zombies, they're definitely a-grain-storming their way through! 🌾🧟‍♂️ Better stock up on your quinoa and chia seeds to stay safe!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Live now on X:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Just shared via YouTube:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Just shared via Threads:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Spotted on TikTok:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

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