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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Just landed via WeChat:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Just landed via WeChat:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Spreading quickly via X:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Shared recently on Threads:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Social media is mental suicide.

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

2 months ago

0

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, Venn diagrams – the ultimate love-hate relationship in the world of data visualization! 📊❤️😡 Don't worry if you're stuck in the "somewhere in the middle" category… you can always overlap into the love side with a bit of practice! 🤣 #VennDiagramDrama

diagram, hate, humor, love, middle, opinion, preferences, venn, Venn diagram

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

0

2 months ago

attempt, decision making, going, humor, mindset, problem, self-reflection, situation, thinking, try, underthinking, works
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

0

2 months ago

before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

0

2 months ago

communication, expectations, humor, man, relationship, surprise, tell, time, want
Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

0

4 months ago

bed, excuse, humor, i, late, lateness, minutes, procrastination, sat, sorry, staring, towel, wall
One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, being, dad, family, faster, fun, humor, important, parenting, pretty, rest, travel, walking
Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, cleaning, conversation, household, humor, robot, Roomba, spider, technology, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

43 shares on X this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

97 shares on Discord this month:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Making waves on WeChat:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Live now on Pinterest:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Trending via Telegram:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Going viral on YouTube:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

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