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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Going viral on X:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Making waves on Threads:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Spreading quickly via X:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Trending via Telegram:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Going viral on Twitch:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Spotted on TikTok:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Making waves on WeChat:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

2 months ago

0

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watermelon: the chewy, hydrating dumbbell of fruits! 🍉💪 Get your exercise in while trying to chop this bad boy open. Who needs a gym when you've got watermelon? 🤣 #FruitFit"

eating, fruit, healthy, healthy eating, humor, snack, summer, watermelon, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

0

4 months ago

2, 6, alone, am, being, broke, day, debt, everything, faith, humor, man, men, optimism, sleep, stay, stereotype, still, wake, wake up, work
Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

0

5 days ago

citrus, citrus fruit, cut, encounter, exaggeration, excellent, fingernail, fruit, high, humor, i, injury, me, number, send, under, universe
By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

0

2 months ago

30, addiction, advice, age, age 30, guessing, home, humor, life, life advice, lifestyle, routine, second, settled, should, work, works
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

0

6 months ago

alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird
The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

0

3 months ago

age, child, children, digital, digital age, humor, i, internet, media, parenting, social, social media, technology, why
Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

0

22 hours ago

age, chess, day, degree, dog, feels, frustration, getting, having, humor, international, international law, law, law degree, losing, money, robbery

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Slack this month:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

10 shares on Slack this month:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

72 shares on X this month:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Going bananas on Messenger:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Spotted on Slack:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Shared recently on Threads:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Breaking via Reddit:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

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