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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Just landed via YouTube:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Breaking via Twitch:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Seen just now on Slack:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

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We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.
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Commentary:
"Mirrors may not laugh, but they definitely have a killer poker face 🃏. Thank goodness for that, or we'd never hear the end of it! 😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

29 shares on X this month:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

53 shares on Slack this month:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

63 shares on X this month:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

39 shares on X this month:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Trending via Slack:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Trending via Facebook:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

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