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Commentary:
Ah, the deceiving ways of aging! 👵🏼🤣 Remember, in your 40s, calling someone a "teenager" may just mean they recently graduated from university. Time truly plays tricks on us! ⏳😅

40s, adulthood, age, humor, milestone, perception, teenager, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

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2 months ago

babe, communication, confusion, dating, humor, love, mixed, mixed signal, relationship, sarcasm, signal, signals, wrong
Relationship status: he escaped.

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2 months ago

break up, dating, escape, humor, love, relationship, single, status
Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

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2 months ago

better, chocolate, comparison, dove, dove chocolate, fact, food, fun, fun fact, humor, soap, taste
When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

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2 months ago

amusing, animal, animal comparison, chasing, comparison, dance, dance move, dog, humor, i, move, people, quirky, say, self-deprecating, tail, wild, wild dog
Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

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2 months ago

experience, festival, fortune, fun, homeless, humor, irony, live, living, pay, person
Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

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2 months ago

activity, exhaustion, hang, hang out, introvert, people, recovering, social, social activity, week, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

22 shares on Telegram this month:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

77 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

81 shares on Discord this month:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I woke up alive again.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Live now on Messenger:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Relationship status: he escaped.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨