Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

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One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.