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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Just shared via Reddit:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Trending via LinkedIn:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Seen just now on Facebook:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Going viral on Threads:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Just shared via Messenger:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Trending via Pinterest:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

1 month ago

Witty joke about aging, featuring playful text on a humorous, relatable theme.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to your 40s, where gravity is no longer just a theory but a full-time job for your face 🌏😂 Embrace the wisdom wrinkles, they're just visual proof of all the hard work you've put in living your fabulous life! 💁‍♂️✨"

40s, aging, exhausted, face, humor, just, self-deprecation, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

66 shares on X this month:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

12 shares on Telegram this month:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

54 shares on Slack this month:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Making waves on Slack:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Just shared via Twitch:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Just shared via Discord:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Spotted on Reddit:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Spotted on Facebook:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

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