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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Spreading quickly via X:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Just shared via Slack:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Trending via Twitch:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Making waves on Threads:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

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Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.
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Commentary:
"Welcome to your 40s, where gravity is no longer just a theory but a full-time job for your face 🌏😂 Embrace the wisdom wrinkles, they're just visual proof of all the hard work you've put in living your fabulous life! 💁‍♂️✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Facebook this month:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

69 shares on X this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

39 shares on X this month:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

59 shares on X this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,243

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Seen just now on Slack:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Going viral on Instagram:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Spotted on Facebook:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Making waves on Instagram:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Just shared via Slack:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Spotted on Twitch:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

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