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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

32 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Going viral on Messenger:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Jan 23, 2025

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, looking to dip a toe into the world of mischief, are we? 👀 How about starting with some top-tier offenses like jaywalking without holding your buddy's hand, or speed-walking in a no-running zone? 😄 Remember, crime doesn't pay…unless it's in Monopoly money! 🎩💰 #LawlessLearner"

activity, beginner, crime, fun, getting, lawlessness, someone

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

32 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Just landed via Threads:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Trending via YouTube:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Just landed via WeChat:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Spotted on X:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Making waves on X:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Just shared via YouTube:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Trending via TikTok:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

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