Trendy Funny Quotes

  • This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.
  • Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.
  • Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.
  • If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.
  • My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.
  • Having children is a pyramid scheme.