Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.