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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Going viral on Twitch:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Going viral on Telegram:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Spotted on YouTube:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Trending via Snapchat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Just landed via WeChat:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Live now on Telegram:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Spotted on Telegram:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

6 months ago

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

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Commentary:
Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls 🕊️🍞. It's like they were just asking for trouble! Just imagine the chaos and destruction those hungry birds must have caused. Lesson learned: don't mess with seagulls unless you're prepared for the consequences! 🤣

deed, feeding, good, good deed, humor, irony, punishment, seagull

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Seen just now on Instagram:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Going viral on Pinterest:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Shared recently on Slack:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Live now on Threads:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

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