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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Breaking via Slack:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Making waves on Threads:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Broadcasted on Slack:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Just landed via Discord:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

2 weeks ago

Humorous text pondering why coffee smells great but coffee breath is gross.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the great mystery of coffee! ☕️😄 It's like the beans are inviting you in with their delightful aroma, only to have your breath give others a less-than-pleasant surprise. Maybe the beans are just trying to show off and steal the spotlight, leaving coffee breath feeling a bit left out. It's all fun and games until someone breathes out a "bleh"! 😂

aroma, beans, breath, coffee, contradiction, good, humor, smell, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Discord this month:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

84 shares on Threads this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

64 shares on X this month:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Trending via Discord:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Trending via YouTube:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Spotted on Reddit:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Going bananas on X:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

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