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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Shared recently on TikTok:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Just landed via Slack:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Seen just now on X:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Going viral on Threads:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Shared recently on X:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

6 months ago

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the great mystery of coffee! ☕️😄 It's like the beans are inviting you in with their delightful aroma, only to have your breath give others a less-than-pleasant surprise. Maybe the beans are just trying to show off and steal the spotlight, leaving coffee breath feeling a bit left out. It's all fun and games until someone breathes out a "bleh"! 😂

aroma, beans, breath, coffee, contradiction, good, humor, smell, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Seen just now on Threads:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Making waves on Twitch:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Just landed via Telegram:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Trending via Messenger:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

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