Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Going viral on X:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Spotted on Slack:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Just landed via Twitch:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Making waves on Discord:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Seen just now on X:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Shared recently on X:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Making waves on Telegram:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about the irony of skipping snacks but still craving a treat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the eternal struggle of snack-deprivation vs snack-cravings! 🍿🍫 It's like a vicious cycle of snacking regrets and snackless despair! 😂 The snack struggle is real, my friend! Stay strong in the face of snack temptation! 💪🏼 #SnackAttack"

buy, buying, eat, having, Lil, little, need, not having, snack, snacks, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Slack this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

52 shares on Slack this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Going viral on Pinterest:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Live now on Facebook:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Shared recently on X:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Making waves on Reddit:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Spotted on Pinterest:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Spotted on WeChat:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Just landed via Telegram:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴