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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Going viral on YouTube:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Shared recently on X:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

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Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a mirror when you can just marry your doppelganger in a wig? 🤣 It’s like finding your own personal clone with a dash of style! 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ But hey, variety is the spice of life, right? 👫💇‍♂️💇‍♀️ #WiggingOut"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

98 shares on X this month:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Just shared via Twitch:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Breaking via WeChat:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

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