Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.
  • I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.
  • I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.
  • Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.
  • Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.
  • Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?