Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal code of secrecy: speaketh not, whispereth never, revealith nothing! It's like trying to keep a secret in a house full of gossipy ghosts – good luck with that!"

anytime, careful, caution, ever, humor, nobody, nothing, secrecy, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

0

2 months ago

50, aging, black, change, eraser, fridge, humor, joke, lightbulb, memory, memory eraser, men, Men in Black, nostalgia, turn, turning, turning 50
If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

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1 month ago

cancel, distraction, entertainment, fight, fighting, i, keep, need, neighbor, neighbors, noise, service, services, streaming, streaming service
My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

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2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, dog, eye, give, humor, job, lot, pet, side, side eye, someone, sure
Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

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4 months ago

court, fake, Fake sport, Funny quote, humor, Lorde, music, notice, pickleball, Pickleball Court, pushing, song, sport, tennis, Tennis Court, tired
I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

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1 month ago

animal, animals, conversation, humor, i, imagination, personality, quirky, reply, stable, talk, wait
I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

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4 months ago

everything, experience, humor, i, identity, know, life, lived, me, misunderstanding, mystery, people, perception, think, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

100 shares on Discord this month:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

27 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

18 shares on X this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

15 shares on Discord this month:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Trending via Facebook:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Making waves on TikTok:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Making waves on WeChat:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Making waves on Slack:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Making waves on Twitch:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Spotted on X:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨