You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

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Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.