You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.