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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,762

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Shared recently on Slack:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Just shared via TikTok:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Oh, is that why you unfollowed me? 😏 Don't worry, falling in love with me is a risk worth taking 😜💔 #UnfollowedButNotUnloved

afraid, confidence, dating, humor, i, know, love, me, media, relationship, social, social media, unfollow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

1 month ago

good, humor, i, joke, media, never, offense, phone, phones, scent, sight, smelfie, social, social media, sound, thing, want
Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

1 month ago

connection, contact, distraction, essential, eye, eye contact, finding, humor, meetings, person, strategy, stupid, survival, workplace
Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

1 month ago

attention, checking, humor, loneliness, love, minute, phone, relationship, self-worth, stop
Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

1 month ago

bed, breakfast, current, humor, laziness, lying, manifest, morning, relaxing, situation, trying
I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

1 month ago

compliment, confidence, decision, decision making, decisions, government, humor, i, independence, just, making, myself, outcome, read, said, sarcasm, self-compliment, self-esteem, should, thanks, thing
Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

1 month ago

awareness, forget, humor, laundry, me, mishap, people, pink, raise, red, today, washing, white

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Making waves on Slack:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Going viral on Facebook:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Breaking via Telegram:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Just shared via Telegram:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Breaking via Reddit:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

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You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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