You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

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If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

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Coffee is just goth water.

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Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

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Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

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That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

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This book ain’t got no pictures.

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I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

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I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

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The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

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I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?