Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Seen just now on X:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Breaking via Facebook:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Going viral on Facebook:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

2 months ago

0

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
☀️ Just when you're ready for some fun in the sun, life throws you a curveball in the form of a couch that refuses to cooperate! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew furniture could be so sassy? Maybe it just wants its moment in the spotlight too! 🤷‍♀️ #CouchProblems #SunshineStruggles

activity, couch, door, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, outdoor, struggle, sun, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

0

2 months ago

believe, children, deception, fine, food, good, hidden, honesty, humor, i, lying, parenting, snacks, where
I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

0

1 month ago

aluminum, aluminum foil, bet, cooking, feels, foil, food, funny observation, good, humor, i, observation, oiling, potato, preparation, wrapping
I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

0

2 months ago

dead, great, humor, irony, man, never, obituary, pleasure, read, sarcasm, wish
Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

0

2 months ago

adulthood, bill, bills, decision, eat, food, humor, just, responsibility, why, wondering
If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

0

2 months ago

dinosaur, getting, history, humor, joke, pet, repeat
I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

0

2 months ago

construction, day, historical, historical reference, humor, i, job, know, reference, Rome, sarcasm, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

41 shares on Slack this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,698

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Making waves on Messenger:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Just shared via Facebook:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

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