50+ Funny Friends Jokes That Celebrate the Chaos of Your Favorite People

New funny friends jokes

• There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

• I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

• The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

• I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

• I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

• There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

• If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

• I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

• After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

• A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Top funny friends jokes

• I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

• Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

• Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

• You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

• Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

• I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

• I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

• When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

• The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

• If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Popular funny friends jokes

• The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

• I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

• You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

• I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

• Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

• Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

• The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

• Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

• I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

• Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

More funny friends jokes

• Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

• Friends with consequences.

• I have friends in high places (birds).

• Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

• I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

• Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

• My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

• Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

• Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

• Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Witty friends jokes

• They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

• Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

• Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

• Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

• I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

• Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

• My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

• Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

• My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

• Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.