50+ Funny Memory Quotes That Prove Our Brains Have Selective Amnesia

New funny memory quotes

• I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

• My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

• I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

• Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

• I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

• If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

• Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

• My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

• The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

• The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Top funny memory quotes

• Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

• All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

• No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

• If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

• You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

• I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

• When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

• Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

• Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

• My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Popular funny memory quotes

• Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

• I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

• Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

• I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

• One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

• I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

• I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

• My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

• I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

• Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

More funny memory quotes

• My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

• The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

• At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

• A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

• My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

• Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

• Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

• All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

• Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

• My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Witty memory quotes

• I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

• How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

• My brain is 80% song lyrics.

• Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

• All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

• Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

• Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

• Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

• I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

• My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Funny memory quotes remind us that while we forget what we actually need to remember 📅, our brains have no problem holding onto the most random nonsense 🤣. Whether it’s song lyrics from childhood 🎶, awkward moments from years ago 😬, or the one thing you wanted to forget 🙃, memory is wildly unreliable — and endlessly funny. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s mastered the art of forgetting everything important while remembering everything useless 🤪. So embrace the brain fog, laugh at the mix-ups, and enjoy the comedy of memory 😂!