50+ Funny Online Quotes That Prove The Internet Is One Big Comedy Show

New funny online quotes

• There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

• Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

• Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

• Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

• Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

• Internet strangers offer the best advice.

• Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

• If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

• “Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

• On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Top funny online quotes

• My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

• Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

• I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

• Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

• The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

• Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

• Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

• My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

• If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

• Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Popular funny online quotes

• Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

• If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

• I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

• The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

• Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

• I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

• Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

• Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

• Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

• Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

More funny online quotes

• The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

• I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

• It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

• A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

• I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

• If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

• I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

• I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

• Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

• It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Witty online quotes

• Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

• There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

• You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

• Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

• Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

• Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

• Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

• I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

• Calling the police when someone unfollows.

• Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Funny online quotes remind us that the internet may be useful, but it’s also a never-ending comedy circus 🎪. Whether it’s falling into meme rabbit holes 🐇, sending texts you immediately regret 📩, or binge-watching videos you never planned to watch 📺, online life is packed with laugh-out-loud moments 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows they spend way too much time online — but wouldn’t have it any other way 🙃. So embrace the scrolling, laugh at the chaos, and enjoy the funny side of being online 🤪!