Funny thought quotes dive into the hilarious chaos of what goes on inside our heads 🤪. From overthinking simple things 🤯 to random weird thoughts that show up at 3 AM 🌙, our minds are comedy factories 😂. These quotes capture the silly, unexpected, and downright bizarre ideas that pop up when we least expect them 🙃. Get ready to laugh at your own thought process — because sometimes your brain is your funniest friend 😄!
New funny thought quotes
- Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.
- I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.
- Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?
- Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?
- I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.
- I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.
- Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?
- If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?
- Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.
- One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.
Top funny thought quotes
- I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.
- Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.
- When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”
- You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.
- I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.
- No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.
- I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.
- What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?
- I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.
- Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.
Popular funny thought quotes
- They should invent a day where I don’t think.
- Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?
- What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.
- Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”
- Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?
- Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.
- Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.
- For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.
- I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.
- I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.
More funny thought quotes
- Hold on, let me overthink this.
- If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.
- And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”
- My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.
- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.
- I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.
- Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.
- I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”
- It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.
- The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.
Witty thought quotes
- My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.
- My last straw is way longer than I thought.
- My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
- For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.
- Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.
- I overthink, therefore I am.
- You are my favorite dirty thought.
- Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?
- Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.
- I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.
Funny thought quotes remind us that while thinking is essential 🧠, our brains often take the scenic (and ridiculous) route 😂. Whether it’s sudden embarrassing flashbacks 🤦♂️, odd daydreams ☁️, or completely pointless deep thoughts 🤔, our minds constantly keep us entertained. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that half their thoughts make no sense — and that’s exactly why they’re funny 🤣. So embrace the randomness, laugh at the nonsense, and enjoy the comedy show happening inside your head 🤪!