New funny want quotes

• I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

• I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

• Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

• I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

• Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

• I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

• Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

• I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

• Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

• No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Top funny want quotes

• The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

• Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

• It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

• Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

• I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

• All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

• Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

• 80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

• I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

• My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Popular funny want quotes

• Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

• Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

• It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

• I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

• Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

• Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

• If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

• I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

• My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

• Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

More funny want quotes

• My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

• If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

• I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

• Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

• Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

• Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

• I want this laziness removed from my body.

• Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

• God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

• Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Witty want quotes

• Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

• Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

• I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

• A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

• Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

• Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

• When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

• I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

• Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

• I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Funny want quotes remind us that wanting something doesn’t always mean we need it — but it sure makes for a good laugh 😂. Whether it’s craving pizza 🍕 after vowing to eat healthy 🥗, or wanting a vacation 🌴 while already planning the next one 🧳, our desires keep life entertaining. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever thought “I want it all!” 🙃. So keep dreaming, keep laughing, and enjoy the never-ending comedy of wanting what you probably don’t need 🤣!