50+ Funny Want Quotes That Perfectly Capture Our Endless Desires

New funny want quotes

• Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

• I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

• 80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

• It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

• It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

• Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

• How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

• “You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

• I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

• On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Top funny want quotes

• I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

• Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

• No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

• Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

• Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

• You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

• How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

• People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

• I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

• When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Popular funny want quotes

• Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

• When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

• I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

• They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

• I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

• Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

• I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

• I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

• Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

• I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

More funny want quotes

• I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

• I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

• Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

• I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

• Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

• I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

• Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

• I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

• I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

• The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

Witty want quotes

• If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

• When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

• Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

• My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

• Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

• Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

• Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

• If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

• I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

• Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Funny want quotes remind us that wanting something doesn’t always mean we need it — but it sure makes for a good laugh 😂. Whether it’s craving pizza 🍕 after vowing to eat healthy 🥗, or wanting a vacation 🌴 while already planning the next one 🧳, our desires keep life entertaining. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever thought “I want it all!” 🙃. So keep dreaming, keep laughing, and enjoy the never-ending comedy of wanting what you probably don’t need 🤣!