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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

8 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Breaking via Discord:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Just landed via WeChat:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Going viral on Instagram:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Spotted on X:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Going viral on X:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Just shared via Instagram:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

6 months ago

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the uproar if Mount Rushmore had burger-loving presidents instead! 🍔🇺🇸 It'd be the most American monument ever! Just picture it – Lincoln with a hotdog, Washington with a slice of apple pie, Jefferson with a mountain of fries, and Teddy Roosevelt chomping on a giant sandwich. Now that's a sight to behold! 😄 #FoodiePresidents"

American, eating, food, humor, iconic, monument, mount, Mount Rushmore, national, national monument, presidents, rushmore, satire

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

8 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Trending via X:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Making waves on Facebook:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

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