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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has shared:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has copied:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has copied:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has shared:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Spotted on Twitch:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, β€œYour keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and β€œHe will ultimately betray you.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Trending via YouTube:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Going bananas on Messenger:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Trending via Discord:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Playful quote about how watching Jaws changes your beach day vibe.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the thrill of hoping you don't spot a fin while trying to enjoy some beach time πŸ¦ˆπŸ–οΈ Just remember, the water might be fine, but the fear is real!"

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

β€œBluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dinosaurs are always described as β€œroaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Neurodivergents will be like, β€˜I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has viewed:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Turns out β€œYouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has shared:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has shared:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has viewed:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on X:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Live now on Reddit:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Breaking via WeChat:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Trending via Instagram:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Live now on WeChat:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Going viral on TikTok:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

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