Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”
  • Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.
  • Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.
  • Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.
  • If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.
  • My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.