Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.
  • I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.
  • When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.
  • “I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.
  • You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.
  • I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.