Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Live now on Instagram:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Shared recently on Threads:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Just shared via TikTok:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Trending via Discord:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Going viral on Discord:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

6 months ago

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life feels like a chaotic race and the vultures of stress and worries start circling above, just remember to channel your inner champion ➡️🦅 Give ‘em a gasp and a sassy flip-off like a true track star, and sprint towards that finish line with style! 🏃‍♂️🖕 #TrackAndFieldDrama

activity, circle, exercise, flipping, gasp, gesture, humor, me, outdoor, outdoor activity, running, sarcasm, track, vultures

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Trending via Facebook:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Live now on TikTok:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Spotted on Telegram:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Spotted on Slack:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Just landed via Telegram:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Live now on Threads:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Trending via X:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Going viral on Discord:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

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