Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the kind of people who make your eyes roll faster than a slot machine 🎰 and your stomach churn like a rollercoaster 🎢 just at the mere mention of their name! 🤢😂"

annoyance, hearing, humor, just, name, nauseous, people, relationships, sarcasm

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30 shares on Facebook this month:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

24 shares on X this month:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

58 shares on X this month:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Just landed via Messenger:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Just shared via Reddit:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Shared recently on Threads:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Just landed via YouTube:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Just shared via Telegram:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Going viral on Instagram:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Breaking via Reddit:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨