With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.