Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.
  • Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.
  • Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.
  • I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.
  • You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.
  • LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.