I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

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“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

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People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

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Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

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It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

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There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

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Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

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I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

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Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

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Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

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Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.