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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

54 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Spotted on Threads:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Spotted on Discord:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Trending via Messenger:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Making waves on WeChat:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Spotted on Telegram:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Just shared via Reddit:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

5 months ago

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of spiral-manity! 🌀🤷‍♂️ When chaos reigns and requests fly left, right, and center, it's every man for himself! Just hold on tight, folks, and hope for the best amidst this whirlwind of demands! 🤯🎢 #LifeInASpiral

anything, chaos, control, humor, spiral, spiraling, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

54 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Going viral on Twitch:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Going viral on WeChat:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Live now on Facebook:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Just landed via TikTok:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

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