Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.
  • If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”
  • I have a yearning disability.
  • I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.
  • I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.
  • Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”