Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.
  • I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.
  • That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.
  • You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.
  • Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.
  • Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.