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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Not sure if โ€œlife hackโ€ exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

If I were a bird, youโ€™d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Facebook:

Thinking of starting a club for people who donโ€™t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Just landed via Reddit:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until theyโ€™re all crispy and delicious.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Shared recently on Discord:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Live now on Snapchat:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Might quit my job to focus on summer.
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"Finally found my dream job: full-time summer enthusiast! ๐Ÿ˜Žโ˜€๏ธ๐Ÿน #CareerGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we donโ€™t trust.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

I canโ€™t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Twitch:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Trending via YouTube:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and Iโ€™ll think, โ€œOh God, what all did they see to get there?โ€

Trending via Threads:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. Theyโ€™re calling it the Apollo G.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. Iโ€™m getting it framed.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Reported on Instagram:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Shared recently on Threads:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I wouldโ€™ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Spotted on Twitch:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Just landed via Instagram:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think youโ€™re super busy doing important stuff even when youโ€™re not.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I still canโ€™t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. Iโ€™ve got 8 of them now and donโ€™t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

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