New funny social quotes

• I bet God still calls it Twitter.

• Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

• Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

• Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

• That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

• “I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

• Single, not sure how to mingle.

• You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

• I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

• How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Top funny social quotes

• Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

• Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

• I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

• Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

• I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

• Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

• Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

• When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

• I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

• Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Popular funny social quotes

• That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

• Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

• My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

• I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

• Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

• The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

• Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

• Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

• I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

• Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

More funny social quotes

• It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

• I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

• I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

• I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

• Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

• Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

• Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

• I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

• If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

• I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Witty social quotes

• Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

• Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

• Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

• I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

• Being social sucks all my energy.

• When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

• I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

• I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

• Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

• I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Funny social quotes remind us that no one really has it all figured out when it comes to interacting with others 🧐. From cringe-worthy introductions 😬 to trying too hard to be cool 😎, social life is full of moments that deserve a good laugh 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever said something weird at a party 🎈 or overthought a text message 📱. So embrace the awkwardness, laugh at the blunders, and keep making hilarious social memories 🤪!