50+ Funny Eat Quotes That Prove Every Meal Is An Opportunity To Overdo It

New funny eat quotes

• I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

• I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

• Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

• Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

• Eat like your treadmill is watching.

• Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

• It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

• I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

• My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

• Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Top funny eat quotes

• I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

• When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

• I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

• I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

• Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

• My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

• I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

• Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

• I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

• Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Popular funny eat quotes

• Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

• No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

• She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

• Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

• The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

• The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

• Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

• I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

• “Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

• Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

More funny eat quotes

• I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

• Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

• Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

• I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

• The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

• Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

• I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

• The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

• I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

• Never eat more than you can lift.

Witty eat quotes

• When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

• I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

• Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

• Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

• My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

• I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

• Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

• I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

• I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

• Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Funny eat quotes remind us that while eating is a necessity 🍽️, it’s also one of life’s greatest (and funniest) pleasures 🤣. Whether it’s overeating, emotional snacking, or proudly finishing a meal meant for two 🙃, food offers endless comedy gold. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever eaten until they regretted it — and then did it all over again 🍫. So grab a fork, embrace the cravings, and laugh your way through every delicious bite 🤪!