50+ Funny Change Quotes That Prove We All Fear It, But Laugh Anyway

New funny change quotes

• Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

• Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

• Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

• Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

• I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

• I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

• People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

• I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

• Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

• Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Top funny change quotes

• I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

• I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

• Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

• My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

• I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

• One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

• Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

• Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

• I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

• Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Popular funny change quotes

• My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

• How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

• The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

• Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

• Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

• People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

• Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

• I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

• “You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

• You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

More funny change quotes

• Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

• I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

• I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

• I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

• May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

• Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

• I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

• Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

• Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

• Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Witty change quotes

• How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

• Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

• A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

• The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

• We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

• One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

• A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

• One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

• Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

• My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Funny change quotes remind us that while change is supposed to help us grow 🌱, it usually starts by completely confusing us first 🤣. Whether it’s new technology 📱, unexpected life twists 🎢, or simply rearranging the furniture 🛋️, change rarely goes smoothly. These quotes are perfect for anyone who loves to pretend they’re flexible — until change actually happens 🙃. So embrace the awkward adjustments, laugh at the learning curves, and enjoy the comedy of constant change 🤪!