Funny thought quotes dive into the hilarious chaos of what goes on inside our heads 🤪. From overthinking simple things 🤯 to random weird thoughts that show up at 3 AM 🌙, our minds are comedy factories 😂. These quotes capture the silly, unexpected, and downright bizarre ideas that pop up when we least expect them 🙃. Get ready to laugh at your own thought process — because sometimes your brain is your funniest friend 😄!
New funny thought quotes
- I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.
- They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.
- My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”
- I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.
- When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.
- I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.
- When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.
- If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.
- I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.
- Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.
Top funny thought quotes
- I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.
- When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.
- Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.
- I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.
- I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.
- People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?
- “I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”
- I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.
- Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.
- Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.
Popular funny thought quotes
- I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.
- Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?
- Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?
- I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.
- I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.
- Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?
- If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?
- Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.
- One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.
- I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.
More funny thought quotes
- Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.
- When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”
- You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.
- I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.
- No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.
- I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.
- What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?
- Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.
- They should invent a day where I don’t think.
- Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?
Witty thought quotes
- What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.
- Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”
- Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?
- Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.
- Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.
- For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.
- I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.
- I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.
- Hold on, let me overthink this.
- If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.
Funny thought quotes remind us that while thinking is essential 🧠, our brains often take the scenic (and ridiculous) route 😂. Whether it’s sudden embarrassing flashbacks 🤦♂️, odd daydreams ☁️, or completely pointless deep thoughts 🤔, our minds constantly keep us entertained. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that half their thoughts make no sense — and that’s exactly why they’re funny 🤣. So embrace the randomness, laugh at the nonsense, and enjoy the comedy show happening inside your head 🤪!