New funny travel quotes

• AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

• Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

• It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

• Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

• The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

• My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

• Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

• Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

• There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

• Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Top funny travel quotes

• They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

• Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

• At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

• Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

• There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

• I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

• I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

• I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

• I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

• Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Popular funny travel quotes

• I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

• Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

• My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

• Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

• I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

• I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

• Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

• 80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

• Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

• My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

More funny travel quotes

• Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

• “Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

• Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

• People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

• Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

• I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

• Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

• Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

• There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

• My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Witty travel quotes

• I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

• After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

• “What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

• I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

• Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

• I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

• It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

• I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

• Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

• It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Funny travel quotes remind us that while we leave home for adventure 🌎, we often return with stories that sound like sitcom episodes 🤣. Whether it’s delayed flights ✈️, lost luggage 🎒, or confusing foreign menus 📄, travel brings endless entertainment. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that the best part of any trip is laughing at all the unexpected detours 🙃. So grab your passport, embrace the chaos, and enjoy the comedy that comes with every travel adventure 🤪!