New funny stress quotes

• Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

• You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

• Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

• My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

• So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

• Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

• The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

• Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

• I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

• I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Top funny stress quotes

• Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

• Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

• How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

• The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

• Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

• Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

• The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

• Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

• Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

• The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Popular funny stress quotes

• Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

• I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

• Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

• As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

• Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

• A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

• God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

• Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

• Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

• I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

More funny stress quotes

• Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

• Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

• Life is really sucking the life out of me.

• Starting to think business is standing on me.

• Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

• My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

• You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

• Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

• Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

• It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Witty stress quotes

• Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

• I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

• Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

• My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

• I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

• Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

• The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

• The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

• Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

• The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Funny stress quotes remind us that while stress can feel overwhelming 😩, it also provides plenty of material for laughter 😂. Whether it’s panicking over tiny problems 🐜, overthinking every decision 🤔, or stressing about being stressed 🤣, the struggle is all too real — and all too funny. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever said “I’m fine” while clearly not being fine 🙃. So embrace the chaos, laugh at the anxiety, and enjoy the wild comedy that comes with stress 🤪!