New funny animal quotes

• My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

• Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

• It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

• I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

• Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

• Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

• Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

• I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

• Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

• Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Top funny animal quotes

• There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

• My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

• The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

• Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

• I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

• Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

• If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

• Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

• A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

• One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Popular funny animal quotes

• I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

• My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

• People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

• Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

• Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

• They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

• My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

• Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

• Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

• My favourite animal is me when I have money.

More funny animal quotes

• Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

• I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

• I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

• The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

• My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

• I brake for no one, except squirrels.

• My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

• I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

• Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

• Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Witty animal quotes

• Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

• When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

• I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

• The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

• Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

• I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

• I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

• The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

• Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

• It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Funny animal quotes remind us that animals don’t even have to try to be funny — they just are 😂. Whether it’s pets making weird faces 🐕, birds being tiny drama queens 🐦, or wildlife surprising us with their antics 🦊, animals deliver non-stop comedy 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who can’t get enough of the ridiculous cuteness animals bring to everyday life 🙃. So embrace the fur, feathers, and funny business, and enjoy the never-ending comedy show that is the animal kingdom 🤪!